I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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