Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
