gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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