Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
