Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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