I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
