we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
