i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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