put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
