Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
