the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize