he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
