there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So much Jack, so little girl.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize