I'm eating all of the evidence.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
