On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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