Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i believe in u and ur pee
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
