didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
