week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
