Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
