lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
