I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
