I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
