oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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