did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
