Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize