i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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