Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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