what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
