the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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