her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
