Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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