My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
