my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
