she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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