This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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