Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
