His pubic hair was longer than his dick
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
