Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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