So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
