turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
