Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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