We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
