You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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