But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
