just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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