so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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