Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
