You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
my liver is dry heaving
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
