Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just found puke in my bra..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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