He is an equal opportunity slut.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
