its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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