I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
whose parrot is this?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
