I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
