My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
