My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
