I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
