My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
