And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
