AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
there is glitter all over my balls
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
