got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
